Better place than here?
by Paper Spaces
Summary: "You need closure." "My closure is here."


A/N: Something I thought up. A/Uish? Try my hand at something I guess...

* * *

It was a uneventful day. Most days were uneventful, however. But this was the dullest that she had to live through.

Yuzu was off at school, her dad was somewhere, and Ichi-nii was...she didn't even know where that boy was. Probably gallivanting off to save the universe...or something along the lines of that. She watched the downpour of frigid water soak everything in sight. Cooped up in the room far too long, she strode out, yawning. She decided to go out walking. In the rain. It didn't bother her one bit.

When it rained, it was silent. No one out, no one seemed to like the rain. She did. The rain leaving a sweet sadness that washed over the earth. Frost graced the grass, as if it was teasing. It felt like winter; it was winter, but the weather insisted on staying stubborn. Sighing she sat under her regular spot. The tree provided shelter from the biting water, and she shivered slightly.

"What are you doing?"

She snapped her head up, eyes widening.

A boy. No, not a boy...his eyes looked to old but his height said otherwise. Abnormal white hair and eyes as cold and colorless as the winter. He looked like the embodiment of it. She blinked. His clothes looked similar to her brothers, but he had a type of cape on him. Coldness surrounded him. His eyes gleamed of it. And he was looking at her. Directly, not glancing from one place to another. He _could_ see her. That was more unsettling than people not being able to see her.

"Y-you can see me?" her voice came out in a waver and she coughed to correct it. Now was not the time to panic.

"Of course, it's my job," he spoke, an authoritative tone. He look bothered.

"But...I'm dead. Are you dead too?" she asked, leaning from her sanctuary. He looked at her, inspecting.

"Yes, but I moved on," he said, taking a step near her.

"I can't," she stood up. She knew exactly what he was offering. There was no moving on for her, she was fine with that.

"You need closure."

"My closure is here."

"Let me help you." Too close, step back.

"My brother tried, he's the same like you."

He blinked twice, clearly not expecting that. "You have a brother, that's a shinigami?"

"Yes," she said, hand against the bark of the historic tree.

"May I ask what his name is?"

"Kurosaki Ichigo."

He was certainly taken back and she didn't know if that was good or bad. "You're related to Kurosaki. How?"

"It's called being a sister," she crossed her arms, eyebrow starting to lower.

He studied her some more. She resisted the urge to look away from the calculating eyes. "I can see it now. Though you don't look anything alike, you're attitudes are similar."

"Is that a bad thing?" she truthfully questioned, though agitation had found a place in her voice.

"No...not really," he mused over, seemingly not aware or acknowledging the change of emotion. "But how are you dead and he's alive?"

"I died someday in the summer. It was raining and there was a girl on the bank." Her eyes clouded, the memory becoming alive. Reliving it many nights, reliving it right there. "She...she was going in the river. I tried to stop her, and my mom tried to stop _me. _Than I'm standing over my body and my mother. We're both dead but, I guess...I guess mom passed on. I felt returned home and Ichi-nii could see me, Yuzu couldn't. He asked where mom was and I led him back to the bank. My family came with him."

She exhaled, breath fogging. How could she feel so cold even when she was dead? She smiled bitterly,"It didn't occur to me I was dead until my father explained it to me. I cried, though I think my brother and sister cried more than I did. A funeral was held."

Her throat felt clogged, her eyes telling 'don't continue', threatening to water. But she did anyway, rubbing at her eyes. "I didn't want to go, no one forced me, but I wanted to pay my respects. To mom. But then, I saw my body and how peaceful I looked and I felt at that moment was, 'why hadn't I passed on?'"

She cleared her congested throat, though it didn't help. "Ever since then, I've somehow been aging. I wasn't given a chance to live out my life, so now I'm living as a ghost."

Realizing that she had been staring at her feet the whole time, she looked up. He looked emotionless. Gaze still fixated on her. Only her. "Er...I'm sorry with that sob story," she laughed off. More like cry off.

He stared back,"It doesn't make sense. You should be a hollow." Now she could tell discomfort was heavy on him. What was a hollow? Oh right, those monsters. She hated those things and couldn't believe they were once people. Brings out the worst brings a new meaning.

"Dad was surprised by that too. Found out that I'm not exactly human."

"What do you mean?" He had gotten close to her and was only a feet away, coldness stronger. Her teeth shuddered, and he took a couple paces back, apologetic expression saying its own words.

"Apparently I'm a..." she thought back, then snapped her fingers. "I'm shinigami and a quincy. Something like that."

He looked taken back again. "Both?"

She shrugged,"Yep."

He ran his hand through his hair. "I thought this would be easy."

"What?" she pushed.

"Helping you pass, but you seem like a special case," grim humor subtly heard.

"Yeah."

She couldn't argue with that.

A mechanical beeping startled both of them, before he registered what it was. He took out a phone and scanned the screen, beeping becoming more pronounced. He closed it, before shuffling forward. She stiffened when she sensed it. Probably coming for her.

"It seems that my time's cut short. It's been..." he struggled for a word that would help describe it.

"Unusual," she answered, taking a small step away.

He looked at her, face unreadable to her, "Maybe I'll see you again?

She returned the look,"Maybe."

He reached his hand out for a handshake. Only staring for a few seconds, perplexed.

"What?" he replied, not quite understanding. She continued with the same expression, and it clicked.

"Oh, you won't go through my hand, I'm not in a body. Soul form." He felt like slapping himself and just running away. Way to make her feel better.

Uncertain for a bit, she lifted her own hand to his other. She didn't go through his hand. He grasped it firmly, before letting go. "Good bye."

Before she could reply with her own he had leapt off, dissapearing in the now drizzling rain. Touching her hand she realized they didn't even know each others names. Acquaintances but not acquaintances. Something else surfaced from her mind. Even though he had a cold stare, and apparently a cold soul from the temperature change, his hand felt...

It felt warm.

* * *

"Hey."

She turned from her spot, allowing a rare grin to cross her expression. "Hello Toshiro."

He held the urge to reprimand her, and just settled to exhale through his nose. "Can't believe it's been four years, almost half a decade," he took a seat next to her.

A smile appeared on her features,"Yes, it's been a while."

He had kept his word, and had shortly came back. He always came back, time dictated his visits unfortunately. Karin had all the time in her long life, what you could call a life, and was frankly bored.

They both ages, adolescence fading into adulthood. As they aged, they had become closer, a sudden link between them. They thought nothing off it but many others did, much to there agitation. Both oblivious. Knowing that all the what ifs would always be.

He still tried to convince her to go to the society and she agreed. But no, the fates were cruel and she couldn't go on. Didn't really matter, she was content.

She coughed, he eying her.

"Can you get sick?" she managed to cough out.

"Yes, but it's rare," he muttered, concern evident.

"Relax," she patted his shoulder.

"You should really get that taken care of," he persisted. She smirked, once he caught something he wouldn't let it go. A bad habit really, but she never pointed it out.

"I don't think they have a doctor for ghosts," she joked, looking up at the sky. Maybe it would snow.

"They don't, but maybe I could heal it..." he pondered.

"Nah, don't worry," waving him off. Stiffening she looked around before covering her coughing fit. Noticing the shift he patted her back to calm her,"What?"

There was a scream.

He jolted up, sword out. His eyes darted around and he heard the call again. He sprinted, it was north, but only came to a dead end. A sense of dread hit him. No. Did he?

There was a scream. This time he knew who screamed. "Karin!" he rushed back, almost tripping over ice.

A hollow was lifting her to its mouth before it abruptly snapped it. Toshiro thought nothing off it as he slashed through its skull. He thought of how stupid he was. And how she almost died.

He picked her up,"Karin, Karin. Wake up." Not responding immediately was enough to jostle his growing frantic heartbeat. No stop it. Calm down. She's stronger than that, she's survived this long. She can't give up, he won't let her.

Slowly she sat up, as if in a daze. "Wha—? Oh Toshiro it's only you."

He set her down arms still around her,"What happened?"

Confused she tried to get her bearings, shaking her head to clear the lethargic fogginess. She blinked, yawned, stretched as if she had just woken up from bed and not passed out. "I don't remember." Her yawn turned into a devilish smile,"But I think you called me Karin."

"No I didn't." Denial.

"Mhm."

"How can you not remember passing out?"

"What do you want from me? I honestly don't know! Black screen!"

"But, it was for only a minute." Was he convincing himself that it was only a minute? It seemed like a minute, maybe his adrenaline had sped everything up.

"Really?" she hacked again, he only holding her for comfort.

"Yes."

"Well, I probably decided to nap."

"Karin."

She knew that tone.

"Okay sorry."

* * *

It wasn't a known fact that she was sick. It seemed to be getting worst and worst. Hacking up her lungs, and too tired to even see Toshiro that he had to visit her more than often might she add. She almost wanted to end this. Until it stopped. She had woken up and it had stopped. Had fate finally been nice? No more drug induced sleep or concoctions that who knows what it's made out of god knows what.

All of that halted when she looked into her reflection.

Oh, hell no.

* * *

His eyes surveyed the area. Where could she be. He actually did carry out and face palm his himself. It was so obvious.

He stopped and went to the old tree.

"Hey."

No answer.

"Karin."

"Alright fine."

She appeared from the other side. His eyes widened. Oh. Please no. He didn't want to believe what they said. What they gave him. He couldn't. But he could now. All happening right in front of him.

"Toshiro, what's happening to me?" Her whole self begged for an answer. For comfort. But there would be not comfort in the words he was about to tell her.

"You're turning into a hollow." It sounded so emotionless, he almost flinched at the sound of his own voice. However she didn't seem phased by it, by all means expecting it.

"I thought that would happen." She took a step forward, wincing. A hole in her chest was forming. Ever so slowly it was opening, the blackness peering out at him as if mocking him. It was delaying all these years and now it was rearing it's ugly maw.

"It was inevitable," she shrugged. She sounded so broken. So lost. So tired. She was out of commission, done fighting and hanging up the hat. So why did she still smile knowing her fate?

"Kuro—"

"I've accepted it."

"What?" he said, mutely. He felt like he was drowning.

"That I wasn't the one that died that day. That I couldn't save her. That I—I-I—"

Then she started crying. In all of the years he spent and the ones she told him about, he'd hadn't seen her cried ever since that fateful rainy day. He wish he hadn't.

Unable to control himself, he lunged forward, cradling her in his arms. "Breathe. Just breath," his own breath becoming shakier.

Breathe so I know you're still there.

Looking up she sniffled, pathetically,"I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for? You don't have anything to be sorry for," he shushed, rocking back and forth on his heels.

"That I have to leave you." It hit him.

"You're not leaving me, I'll find you," his voice croaked.

She rotated around to face him. "It'll take years, decades to find me. Even if I am found, I won't remember. If you can't...don't beat yourself up over it."

"But I wi—"

She narrowed her eyes,"Promise me."

He gulped down his unspoken words. "I promise."

Hearing that she sighed in relief, her body slacking. Like her death was moments away and she was ready. "Toshiro look at me."

He complied. She brought her hands up, holding the sides of his face with her hands. They were cold.

"I've wanted to say this for a long time."

His heart raced, already bursting from his emotions."Karin?"

"Thank you."

His heart rate slowed, and couldn't help but feel...dissapointed.

"For letting me love you."

He whipped his eyes to her, and saw she was trying hard not to laugh. He leaned a bit down, bumping their foreheads together.

"Pulling at my heart, and than ripping it out and eating it. Aren't you heartless?"

"About to be."

He gave her a look.

"Sorry."

Karin felt lighter and her knew she was fading, fading fast. He saw the look in her eyes, knew it all too well. He leaned down, and she leaned upwards. They met half-way. It was only felt by them and experienced by them. They both regretted not doing this earlier. There was a tinge of sadness, when they broke apart, gasping for an intake of air.

She looked alive, felt alive, not a ghost, but _alive. She felt warm. _Bliss filled her smile. Contentment.

"Thank y—"

The warmth was whisked away, her going with it. Watching her fade as her voice died out before her image. Then, nothing.

He looked up at the sky, as it showered down. He let himself cry it all out, where no one would watch him. She loved rainy days, but he found a reason to hate them. Soon, he regained control of himself and looked up again. This time it snowed, a bit wet but passable as snow. So softly it fell, blanketing everything, beckoning life to sleep. He stared up at the sky before departing to the Soul Society.

"No. Thank you, Karin."

* * *

A/N: Okay I did not plan on it going in that direction. It kinda veered off a cliff. And I was in the mood for angst...I think? I don't know if this should just be a one-shot or like chapters. Feedback would be appreciated.


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